Thor - 2011

So, yet another guy in tights walking out of Marvel Studios. Whats in that? There is.

Thor - The God of Thunder is the origin story of Thor saying What Thor is made of.

Thor after a fight with his father loses his godly powers, Mjolhnir his source-of-power hammer and his home, Asgard. He is thrown to the realm of puny little beings called Earth. The story is whether he regains his Mjohlnir, gets a girl, ass kick some minions, smooch the girlhard before climax fight and returns home with a Bang!. Though you may know the answer its worthy to spend money on it.

Chris Hemsworth - Ladies, Check out! He is the man.
Natalie Portman -   On screen just for us guys to look at and give a smooch to the Hero and for few funny scenes, surprisingly.

Yes, the movie had few funny moments sprinkled upon it. It brought some smiles and laughs in the theater. It makes you sit through the movie and enjoy.At some point, when Thor wields his hammer and suddenly a bolt of thunder streaks from the sky upon him, I nail bitingly expected/wanted him to proclaim loudly like, 'I am Thor, The God of Thunder'. It didn't. God! The Indian masala mind at its play.

And Graphics, of course. They had some intense graphics sequences as you can imagine and they were fantastic, of course! The graphics had the depth and existence on the screen. Especially when they movie around the space, you will feel like traveling in space. If this is for my 2D experience, imagine the 3D. Yup, I went for a 2D version. I can't afford 3D in PVR Bangalore parting with easily Rs.750. Whaddaya Think?
.
So, Thor is not a some excellent movie. It is quite an enjoyable movie.
Thor - The Grand Entertainer
People watch this movie, Captain America and Green Lantern to get ready for the 'Avengers' Next year.

Somebody explain this shit

Okay. I accept my mistake and apologize. There is a old saying in my place that, King punishes the very day, but God takes his time. I realize that. I take my penance. But this is too much. I mean, there is a limit to everything from Junk food to Justin Bieber. Oh no, I am not blaspheming against Justin Bieber, Respect. But, it was the start of everything. I never thought of it reaching this level. When I was tweeting about Justin Bieber, it was a joke. Now I know, you don't just make fun of the demigods. Now I got to see this. What is 'this'? Come on I don't have heart to explain this stuff. It is way to heavy stuff for my small brains.

Somebody please explain this shit!

Now, what was that! I thought Justin Bieber was bad. Now I understand why his fans tagged his tweets with #justinbieberisgod tag. They must have know the future. He is at least a demigod, when I see this girl. 'Partying, partying yeah.. Fun Fun Fun Fun, looking forward to the weekend'. Come on, what was that? The most worst part was, 'Yesterday was Thursday, Today it is Friday, Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards'. And the ways sings with her lips open like it has been stretched and tied to her ears. Now I started listening to 'Baby, Baby.. oh.. ooohhh...' wails of the boy. God, its better. They are comparing this 13-year old girl to Justin Bieber and this girl wants a duet with him. One warning Justin, if an idea of doing a duet with her arises in your mind, just kill yourself. It's honorable.

Fry-day

Harakiri, Good. Rebecca Black, Not good.

AAhh... It's always fun to rip on others... Sweet!

Ghost in my college urinal

I would always think to start like, 'Let me get to the point straight'. But, No, i don't do start like that way. I would love to beat around the bush.

Let me get this straight. Have you ever felt you were being followed when you walk in dark in some unfamiliar places? Have you felt some body breathing behind your neck when you access a deserted atm machine? Or have you tried outrunning something mysterious when you don't have a two-way switch and you had to turn off the light at the top of the stairs and come down in dark? or Have you had a toilet outside your home and you get an urge to piss at post midnight time (Walking hour recommended by ghost doctors for ghosts) but contemplated over going out in a scary night or wetting the bed? or have you ever expected a ghost somewhere when you watch some creepy realistic, drama genre movie? If you can relate to these stuff, you can proceed reading. Others, please get out sir. This blog is just for humans alive, not Zombies.

Now I use a funneling technique to take you to the next level. This way I can get from a broad view and  slowly narrow down to the issue in hand. Next set of question in depth now. Have you seen ghost movies? Hero will be checking out himself in mirror. But even after moving away, the image stays and winks at camera. hmm... Eerie? kay, second scenario. Hero presses the elevator button and waits. Nothing happens. He tortures the button to death. Still nothing. When he goes on to use stairs, the next guy just passes by and  the elevator reaches 'Dung' and opens... 'whoosh'. Chilling your spine a bit now? Wait. Why do I tell these obviously ghost situations? Yes, I'm coming there.

Now I visit the loo in my college. Its a plushly furnished toilet with sensor enabled urinals. Just when I enter the loo, a guy comes out after using a urinal and washing hands. So, I go in and use the urinal nearer to the one he used (Due to the territorial behavior no man uses the same or the one next to the urinal one which was used by other - Fact). And the urinal to the left of me suddenly flushes ~whoosh~. What would you think when somebody used went out and you were half way through and it flushes? That's not it. You may think it is due to the delayed sensor reaction. What if it flushes sometimes even if no body used and you were the first one to enter and use. Now, whaddaya feel? Scary? Or would you be normal when you were having your time in urinal after three straight hours of Financial Management,  with great sigh of relief, your face upwards, eyes closed in relaxation, it flushes, right in front of you ~SPLASH~ leaving wet spots in your pants. It HAUNTS!

7 things you dont know about me

It has always been interesting to know secret of others. Given opportunity everyone could be a peeping tom or at least eavesdropping Eves. Since I have writer's block now, even though I'm not a writer, I could very well use this opportunity to write something on blog. The problem is I don't have much that others don't know. But, since this cool dude Karthik (link) asked me for the first time I shall write this up.

1. So, here this is for you gossip makers. I have fallen in crush for 4 times so far or Am I missing someone? Whatever! Yeah, they have come and go. But I'm too lazy to follow someone :)

2. Actually, I'm a movie buff. See lot and lot of movies. Tamil, Hollywood, Hindi and even Telugu few times. Movie opens you a new world to exploit. I don't aceept this in open, but i do like profanity in movies. I watched many hollywood movies especially for that too. ;)

3. Everybody thinks I just studied Zoology (I didn't, of course). But I was in Physics for 13 days before that. I just changed to Zoology so that I have more time to enjoy the college life. Cool, eh? Actually, I thought of moving to Vis.Com, which was started in my college only during my second year. If I had, it would have been a different me.

4. I have myself a 'Path of Enlightenment' like the illuminati of 'Angels and Demons'. I used to walk daily. It wasfound by me and a 'long lost friend'. He is not a friend anymore :( . Now, since I shifted my house. I walk down the path with ajay (link) or when I'm lonely. If you have a chance, take a walk with your friends, that is unbeatable.

5. I love coffee. That is just recently. I seem to have addicted to coffee. And chicken. Born vegetarian, eating chicken frequently for last three years. Grill is my most favorable form of chicken.

6. One thing all my friends know Or confused about my ever changing mind. I want to be everything in this world. Sounds like the dialogue of villain in movies right? But, it would be realized sometime. I say this abstractive. Never mind, you would not understand :)

7. Last thing is about my bad habit. I had the habit of checking mirror often. But, reduced now.

I don't want to tag anyone intentionally. But, if he is interested in blogging ajay can do it.

Shall we go for a party?

Men are always quick-pickers. From jockey briefs to future wives, they choose instantly. Men always have a mind for finishing off soon. I believe women like that. Extra time and money could be used to buy their dresses. But in  some cases, Men finishing off soon have led to too many divorces ;). No, I'm not a divorce lawyer or sexologist N.Kannappan(Madurai ad says, 'Lucky hands for 28 years for last 4 years.'  Lucky 'Hands'? whatever.).   When women starts purchasing, accompanying her is the most tough job. Easily it is this endurance test men has to undergo with her girl friend before marriage. And among every other things purchase of dress beats the hell out of man.

There was a woman who went with her husband to buy a silk saree. She asked for a green color saree. When salesman showed her a saree, She said, 'Not this. Lighter shade'. He showed another saree, she said, ' ada, ithu kili pachai. yelakkai pachai venum'(Hey this is parrot green. I need elachi green it.). At last salesman said, 'amma velaikku aagadhu. solunga, companyla order kodupom'(Madam, this wont do. For your need, we have to make a spl. order.) She was like, 'That man talks too much'. She went on around like eight shops in next three hours, ripping the place apart. Finally, the irony of the situation on hand is she would go go back to the first shop and buy the first ever saree she saw. He faints.


You might ask why i am chauvinistic? Because, these kinda jokes are what shopping is for women. We love them a lot. Ironically, this too is a chauvinistic one.

Finally when we ask a women, Shall we go for a party? her thought process would be -

Received as a forward mail

     
 See, We go straight for booze and bed. Women? I don't have time to explain the whole thought process. It needs Einstein.

Full Moon

When the moon cowers
Behind the earth,
Fearing the wrath of sun,
I lost you in the darkness.
As I grope for you
in those fifteen moonless nights,
Don't disintegrate into darkness.

Constipation with concentration

 Disclaimer - For those who wanna shit and don't wanna hear about it and for all those who wanna do foul things but don't wanna hear or read about it, This is not for you. Please get your royal ass out of here. Others read this self improvement piece - author.

Toilet has always been a fascinating place for me. Not just for me. Have you seen the kids in toilets in the morning? While the mommy is running here and there as if it was she going to school, our young scientist would be sending probes to Pluto, believing it to be planet as it would remain so in Indian text books for next 10 years. Some children develop Lewis Caroll in them in toilets by making silly rhyming poems like Ram had some jam in the bottle, steaming tea in the kettle.... so on. Ram is the evergreen noun used in grammar classes, especially in Hindi. We have called Ram so much time that I wondered that my Hindi 'ji' would one day see Lord Ram himself. Ah... I digress. Back to the point. We are talking about toilets. I, myself grew to be a great philosopher with toilet being workshop and constipation being the spark of ignition.


There was this 2 year old kid, Murugan near my house when I was 8 years old. He was naughty boy unlike myself. When he wants to pee, he peed where he wanted. The place of choice was usually the 'vadgam' his mother placed in the home stairs for drying. He always likes to play with 'vadagam' and tamper them rather than playing with 'chitti saamaan' (miniature utensils for toddlers). One day i heard a loud cry and lot of commotion next door. The mothers of all the homes in our neighborhood crowded near Murugan's home. There I see this kid with his ass so red like it was on fire and our murugan was crying with finger in his mouth. The story is that, like always our 'Teetoddler' Murugan has sat on things in the stairs to pee, only difference being that the things left on stairs to dry are Red hot chillies but vadam. His softie smart ass was deep fried along with chilly flavour. His ass looked like fried chicken before being dressed. This is what you get if you are bad enough not to use Toilet. You bear god's wrath not by eye-poking(Tamil kids are threatened to eat with this), but ass-frying.

Damn it, I'm drifting away from the topic, again. Constipation has to be declared not as a disease. It offers many solutions to simple problem. While they say Newton got the idea for Gravitational theory under an apple tree, I wonder what he was doing while shitting in the toilet. This, probably, is due to the fact that he doen't practice the art of constipation. Otherwise he would have got learnt it there and even could have finished with formulation before emptying his bowls. Toilet was a invented later. Before that they were leaking and shitting in open grounds which provided aesthetic views (apart from others s(h)itting like us) and gives you morning oxygen which is good for lungs and Indian crouching position is very good yogasana. Only problem with that is you have to move a little once in a while because pile of shit reaches your hind. But toilet is good too. They are now having artifacts and even TVs in toilet. But the good old Newspaper or some bestselling shit would be enough. Nowadays we have more bestselling shits than the toilet counterparts. So, you have shit at both ends. 

Among morning tasks the most concentration-seeking job is s(h)itting in toilet. Toilet-sitting is the first ever training that happens to a kid. In his child hood every human beings would have taken long time at a stretch in toilets. Constipation is a initial spark for developing meditation at young age. While i was a kid, i was advised to say 'um' for further crapping. This 'um' is like 'ugh' that give pressure to rectal muscles which constrict to let the crap get out in tubiforms. This 'um' like 'OM' gives you the spiritual psyche, that makes you compatible for any tough job. When Constipation gets tough, this becomes more in the line of delivering a child, like 'push'.. 'push'.... and all. But i personally don't support this and ask you meet the doctor immediately. Otherwise you might as well give birth to shitty kid like the one here(link). And it also affects your spiritual endowment.


Big leaders like Mahatma Gandhi have had constipation at their young age, where they developed their courage, spirituality, sacrificing mind and non-violence. Since he became mastery of this virtue, he later on went on to get self-treatment for it. You could see that he experimented self-treatment for this which was a gift of this wonderful practice. There is a lesson to be learned from this. He used the skills acquired by this practice for the social cause. Hence, i recommend you guys to make India by practicing concentration out of constipation.


I will teach you, 'how to play concentration games in toilet', in forthcoming post.

For Rich ass

 

Most inhumane punishment

(N)Ever changing Climate

Try Preaching Bible in the Graveyard

Everyday

Everyday dawns
yawns
stretches in between.

Everyday brightens
darkens
Vanities of life.

Everyday breaks
With hope
Ends up broken.

Everyday is
A Babel
Bloodsport of maverick god

Everyday designs,
Realigns
House of human cards.

Everyday inhales
Exhales
Puffs of forlorn dreams.

Heavily inspired from a guy whom I happened to meet over a hill.

A Clever Girl

This is a poem i wrote when i was in front of my study table, pretending to study. This is not exactly a poem. But you should have known that when it is from me! I didn't try to make impression with this p... er... thing! But if you are a girl, please come to gmail chat. I'm always ready to impress you. This is just a silly romantic poem i wrote seriously with my humble heart open to any girl who does have a mobile and free sms of minimum 100 in number*.

This is more like a chat between a boy and girl through mobile short messages. But it was misunderstood to be a poem by the writer, due to all the rhyme and hymn of the material. It might break the heart of the writer, if he knows the thing he poured his heart in turned out to be a coffee shop conversation, rather than a poem. So, let us all enter into an alternate reality through a worm hole, where it would be considered as a poem. Come aboard!

Are you sure you are in love?

Don't you know this is love?

You are loving whom?

It came upon me like a boom.

You are loving... whom!

I afraid, without him life is doom.

By God! Are you sure you are in love?

As hot as a stove!

Then, you love whom?

He Whisked past like Zoom!

Asking out of exasperation, What is your love?

Whiter than a whitest Dove!

What are you trying to say?

Lucid poem, not essay!

Tell me, you love whom?

Are you dumb?

How come?

Unadulterated mud, you have as a brain

If so, how come u call me friend?

This is why, you assume, you are just my friend.

If not friend, what can i be..... it can't be!

Yes, what can you be?

Then, you love....


* - conditions apply. No recharge will be done by the writer, unless I get to see her face. With the lift of section 377 of the law the writer is afraid of many applications from males adulterating his already overwhelming female applications for the post of his girl friend. Audition to be held soon.

Sunday, 6’o clock

It was a Sunday evening. The central railway station was crowded with people. One cannot guess which state we are in by looking at the face of the people there. People there were of mixed races and skin colors. There were Solankis, Guptas, Raos, jains and many others. Chennai central always looks like a place where Babylonians have gathered to build Babel, chaos of shouting in all languages spoken in India. And if it is the time of arrival of train to Mumbai, then the whole station will look like a pandemonium.

Time: 17.45. I just entered the railway station when the automated voice announced that the Mumbai express is about to start five minutes. I was afraid that my reddish eyes and untidy hair might draw some attention towards me. Luckily it did not. I don’t want to make any scene that might ruin my opportunity. I moved my eyes over the crowd, scanning. This might be the last chance I could have. I have to find him, soon. There is not much time left. Everything must happen the way I planned them.

The bulge in my pocket was clearly visible. I felt the gun in my pocket with my fingers. My heart was pounding as if it was about to burst out of the rib cage. I took my hand out of the pocket to avoid police suspicions. He should not show any outward signs of danger. My fingers were etching towards gun. I wanted to take the gun and empty all the bullets in cartridge in his chest. He has to be attended. But time has to come. I know how many guys have ended up in jail since they acted in wrong time.

I just remembered that he always travels in the I Class A/C compartment. I pushed through the crowd towards the passenger name list chart near the door. I scanned the list, ah…… I found him. His seat was not near the gate. So I moved deep into the train. He was there, fumbling through his bag for something. Time: 17.50

I asked, “Mr.Bose?”

“Yes”

I pointed the gun at him and said “You have asked for it, haven’t you, Mr.Bose?”

He stared at me curiously for few seconds and his face lit up. He asked

pointing me with the eye glasses in his hand, “ Ajay, right?”

“Yes”.

He sat up straight and asked “Tell me, what this stuff is?”

I took some breath and started “This is just an ordinary regular revolver, nothing special. 6 rounds, Takes time to reload for unpracticed hands, makes loud noise, easy to use but less accuracy. No silencer can be fitted, definitely not suitable for people like you.”

“This is not for me, just for my boys.”

“So, what do you say?”

“I’ll take it”. He took the gun carefully from my hands and packed it carefully beneath his clothes.

“Thank you, it has been pleasure doing business with you.”

I stood up and hesitated for a second before moving. Finally, I inhaled deeply, and asked “Do you know Mothilal, my father? He was working in sugar factory.”

“I can’t remember well. What does he do now?”

“Nothing. He is dead”

“Oh, I remember now. It is the guy who was found dead in sugar molasses?”

“Yes”

“I feel sorry for you. The investigation is going on, right? Don’t hesitate if you need any help.”

“Thank you, sir.”

He waved his hand in dismissal.

Time: 17.55. I got out of the train. My hands were trembling. I was furious with anger. I was not able to control myself. My whole body was shaking. I know, he is the one who was responsible for my father’s death. But he acts as if he barely knew him. He should be punished. But how could I ever do that? He is a man of power. He has money and power. I could not allow myself to be caught for any murder. I have a family that needs me. My complaints will not be accepted. I have got no other choice. It has to be like this.

Inside the train, Bose packed the bag with gun securely, and kept it beside him. When he looked down his seat to check his other lug gages, he found a white parcel. He weighed it with his hands to guess what is inside.

Time: 18.00.I came out of railway station. I look around for it. I found it and moved towards it. I went directly into the booth and close behind me. “Hello, control room? …… I have information…….yes……..my identity is unnecessary……cannot say the source…… there is a bomb in ….”

P.S.- My tamil Blog friends could have read this story already in tamil. It was English I wrote this story at first. I did this in a Creative Writing Workshop, to which I got selected from my college.

Old men, Rocking chair

Old men, Rocking chair

It rocks
In the cottage
To and fro
Like a boat roped to the abandoned shore
Gentle and silent
A wavering mind
Dithering like pendulum
Over two different ideas

A time warper to an old man
Who becomes reminiscent of his past

Laid near a fire place
He rocks on that chair
With a hot coffee cupped in his hands
Sipping slowly
Nostalgic of callous and fertile past

Laid in a corner
In darkness
Another old man sits,
Numb with cold, with a nippy coffee
Untouched over the table nearby
Reminiscences of a blundered past

As a clever man learns from his past,
An intelligent man learns from others’

- B.பிரபுகுமார்

My experiments with "Truthtellers" (The Enlightened ones)

First of all i want to make it clear that this has nothing in relation with Gandhi. It has got nothing to do even with truth. I'm going to talk just about those 'truthtellers',or 'the enlightened'. So, what is truth? (hey, no philosophical shit!). Have you seen a man who got boozed up? If yes thn you will know, what iam saying, that it is my experiences with those 'enlightened' ones who got boozed up. I don't know how, but even a person who cannot speak up usually are able to take lectures under the influence of this 'holy water' in their blood in the name of alcohol.

It was when I went to theater in Chennai 5 years back, i got my first experience. While waiting in the ticket counter, we were chatting about this and that, you know. Then came the subject of Andra foods and how hot and spicy they are. And there came a hitch. The Wise man 'Magi' on my back started saying things about the Andra foods. He was unstoppable. I cannot help but nod to his bullshit(oh god, forgive my sins and please save me from this nut!). He started on Andra mess and Andra student(oh, not again!). My cousin suresh got furious on me. He was glaring at me as if accusing me, 'its your fault. you started it,you ******* moron'. I squirmed a little and started staring here and there. But our guy obviously oblivious to this, was going on talking. Now Suresh became desperate and cried out, "Hey, this is not fair. Open the door. Give away the tickets soon yaar". Now our guy turned his look towards him(ya, jimmy...go, get him) from myself. He stared at my cousin and said solemnly, "Calm down. Why are over excited? Don't lose your temper". Suresh gave me a hurt look which could very well be interpreted as, "It is because of you i got teached about patience and temper by a 'drunkard'!! I'll kill you,..." (Hey, dont expect me to say those things. If I do, my blog may get blocked). He turned towards me again as if nothing has happened. By God's grace the counter was open by then, we got the tickets and ran inside literally. Even we, without little alcohol in blood, stumble in the darkness once we are inside theater. Even now it surprises me, how did he find us in that stark darkness. He called on us to wait. Even now i remember how desperately we disappeared in the crowd to escape him. After that my cousin didn't talk to me till the movie was over. Even now he dreads the idea of going to movie with me.

After this i haven't had any experience with any 'truthtellers' till i was in college. This time it wasn't somebody else. It was my very own friend ajith. Our college was on longest ever strike when it happened. We were all outside our classes with professor of all departments. One of our professors was making a speech when he came silently and sat beside me. He was acting funny and i could smell something fishy. When i asked him about this, he smiled insanely. when prodded he spat out that he had some beer. He told me it was to improve his body(What a Bullshit!). By now girls were crossin us. I got an idea and shouted at hm "AJITH, why do you drink so much. No girls will look at you if they know this". By luck they never heard this, but he was shocked. His boast suddenly went off and he begged me not to do so. It was a pity when i knew his girl knew about his drinking because holding others' secret is a wonderful thing in the world as you can intimidate without any limit and all that he will be able to is a foolish smile (Ha... how sweet!). But i got him the other way. On some other occasion when got real high on whiskey, he spat out some close to heart info about his love affair (Don't ask me. He asked me not tell that Velankanni church and se....oops! hey, don't tempt me.). Now you know why they are 'truthtellers'. Ajith, the enlightened, has now become intimidable and everybody is having their time making fun out of him now.

My experience after that happened when i went to a function in my friend's home. My friend and I sat beside each other to have our lunch. There came our guy, St.'drunk'izen, with 'holy water' upto his neck. He smelled like a minibar. He started delivering his crappy 'holy sermon'. First he asked me whether i know hindi. I was unsure what to say this stranger. Without giving me enough time, he started giving me lecture about politics like what karunanidi didnot do, what others are doing...blah blah blah....(oh god, Why is it always me? have i done any sin my births before this?). He then started telling me how he born in Borebander like Gandhi(Let Gandhi forgive me for defaming him). Then came my Xavier, my friend's Bro, he literally caught him hugged, "Bava, they are eating. Lets get out. You are boozing at noon? what is this, bava?". Just this time i thank god for saving me little early than my other such encounters.

Apart from this i have also got some other encounters which didn't last long. There were few accidents while riding bikes and few hard drinkers who stand straight even after drinking much enough to get the liquor overflow out of eyes and ears. Even now drinkers amuse me and they have always got me fascinated me with their actions. My curiosity never runs out even after this. They always turn out to be a new person once they are back to normal. Let me finish this with a quote in my friend's T-shirt, "But occifer there's no blood in my alcohol".

No Entry

I cannot say this is my first trial on writing some vent out thoughts of mine, as im already a blogger in Tamil. Also, this not my first trial on English as i have tried to write few short stories in English. In fact the first words of my mind to be express explicitly in writings were of English. As i am fond of languages, i also like to read and write. oops.... this blog goes on as if it is for my self intro(Prabhu, stop this egotistic shit... we came for ur blog, not u... moron!). sorry, i got carried away( don't ask me where). I don't know where this blog might lead to.

This blog might as well contain the English impressions of posts from my Tamil Blog. i hope you enjoy this site. i also have an idea to publish my short stories in this blog.