Sunday, March 8, 2009

My experiments with "Truthtellers" (The Enlightened ones)

First of all i want to make it clear that this has nothing in relation with Gandhi. It has got nothing to do even with truth. I'm going to talk just about those 'truthtellers',or 'the enlightened'. So, what is truth? (hey, no philosophical shit!). Have you seen a man who got boozed up? If yes thn you will know, what iam saying, that it is my experiences with those 'enlightened' ones who got boozed up. I don't know how, but even a person who cannot speak up usually are able to take lectures under the influence of this 'holy water' in their blood in the name of alcohol.

It was when I went to theater in Chennai 5 years back, i got my first experience. While waiting in the ticket counter, we were chatting about this and that, you know. Then came the subject of Andra foods and how hot and spicy they are. And there came a hitch. The Wise man 'Magi' on my back started saying things about the Andra foods. He was unstoppable. I cannot help but nod to his bullshit(oh god, forgive my sins and please save me from this nut!). He started on Andra mess and Andra student(oh, not again!). My cousin suresh got furious on me. He was glaring at me as if accusing me, 'its your fault. you started it,you ******* moron'. I squirmed a little and started staring here and there. But our guy obviously oblivious to this, was going on talking. Now Suresh became desperate and cried out, "Hey, this is not fair. Open the door. Give away the tickets soon yaar". Now our guy turned his look towards him(ya, jimmy...go, get him) from myself. He stared at my cousin and said solemnly, "Calm down. Why are over excited? Don't lose your temper". Suresh gave me a hurt look which could very well be interpreted as, "It is because of you i got teached about patience and temper by a 'drunkard'!! I'll kill you,..." (Hey, dont expect me to say those things. If I do, my blog may get blocked). He turned towards me again as if nothing has happened. By God's grace the counter was open by then, we got the tickets and ran inside literally. Even we, without little alcohol in blood, stumble in the darkness once we are inside theater. Even now it surprises me, how did he find us in that stark darkness. He called on us to wait. Even now i remember how desperately we disappeared in the crowd to escape him. After that my cousin didn't talk to me till the movie was over. Even now he dreads the idea of going to movie with me.

After this i haven't had any experience with any 'truthtellers' till i was in college. This time it wasn't somebody else. It was my very own friend ajith. Our college was on longest ever strike when it happened. We were all outside our classes with professor of all departments. One of our professors was making a speech when he came silently and sat beside me. He was acting funny and i could smell something fishy. When i asked him about this, he smiled insanely. when prodded he spat out that he had some beer. He told me it was to improve his body(What a Bullshit!). By now girls were crossin us. I got an idea and shouted at hm "AJITH, why do you drink so much. No girls will look at you if they know this". By luck they never heard this, but he was shocked. His boast suddenly went off and he begged me not to do so. It was a pity when i knew his girl knew about his drinking because holding others' secret is a wonderful thing in the world as you can intimidate without any limit and all that he will be able to is a foolish smile (Ha... how sweet!). But i got him the other way. On some other occasion when got real high on whiskey, he spat out some close to heart info about his love affair (Don't ask me. He asked me not tell that Velankanni church and se....oops! hey, don't tempt me.). Now you know why they are 'truthtellers'. Ajith, the enlightened, has now become intimidable and everybody is having their time making fun out of him now.

My experience after that happened when i went to a function in my friend's home. My friend and I sat beside each other to have our lunch. There came our guy, St.'drunk'izen, with 'holy water' upto his neck. He smelled like a minibar. He started delivering his crappy 'holy sermon'. First he asked me whether i know hindi. I was unsure what to say this stranger. Without giving me enough time, he started giving me lecture about politics like what karunanidi didnot do, what others are doing...blah blah blah....(oh god, Why is it always me? have i done any sin my births before this?). He then started telling me how he born in Borebander like Gandhi(Let Gandhi forgive me for defaming him). Then came my Xavier, my friend's Bro, he literally caught him hugged, "Bava, they are eating. Lets get out. You are boozing at noon? what is this, bava?". Just this time i thank god for saving me little early than my other such encounters.

Apart from this i have also got some other encounters which didn't last long. There were few accidents while riding bikes and few hard drinkers who stand straight even after drinking much enough to get the liquor overflow out of eyes and ears. Even now drinkers amuse me and they have always got me fascinated me with their actions. My curiosity never runs out even after this. They always turn out to be a new person once they are back to normal. Let me finish this with a quote in my friend's T-shirt, "But occifer there's no blood in my alcohol".

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