Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Thor - 2011

So, yet another guy in tights walking out of Marvel Studios. Whats in that? There is.

Thor - The God of Thunder is the origin story of Thor saying What Thor is made of.

Thor after a fight with his father loses his godly powers, Mjolhnir his source-of-power hammer and his home, Asgard. He is thrown to the realm of puny little beings called Earth. The story is whether he regains his Mjohlnir, gets a girl, ass kick some minions, smooch the girlhard before climax fight and returns home with a Bang!. Though you may know the answer its worthy to spend money on it.

Chris Hemsworth - Ladies, Check out! He is the man.
Natalie Portman -   On screen just for us guys to look at and give a smooch to the Hero and for few funny scenes, surprisingly.

Yes, the movie had few funny moments sprinkled upon it. It brought some smiles and laughs in the theater. It makes you sit through the movie and enjoy.At some point, when Thor wields his hammer and suddenly a bolt of thunder streaks from the sky upon him, I nail bitingly expected/wanted him to proclaim loudly like, 'I am Thor, The God of Thunder'. It didn't. God! The Indian masala mind at its play.

And Graphics, of course. They had some intense graphics sequences as you can imagine and they were fantastic, of course! The graphics had the depth and existence on the screen. Especially when they movie around the space, you will feel like traveling in space. If this is for my 2D experience, imagine the 3D. Yup, I went for a 2D version. I can't afford 3D in PVR Bangalore parting with easily Rs.750. Whaddaya Think?
So, Thor is not a some excellent movie. It is quite an enjoyable movie.
Thor - The Grand Entertainer
People watch this movie, Captain America and Green Lantern to get ready for the 'Avengers' Next year.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Somebody explain this shit

Okay. I accept my mistake and apologize. There is a old saying in my place that, King punishes the very day, but God takes his time. I realize that. I take my penance. But this is too much. I mean, there is a limit to everything from Junk food to Justin Bieber. Oh no, I am not blaspheming against Justin Bieber, Respect. But, it was the start of everything. I never thought of it reaching this level. When I was tweeting about Justin Bieber, it was a joke. Now I know, you don't just make fun of the demigods. Now I got to see this. What is 'this'? Come on I don't have heart to explain this stuff. It is way to heavy stuff for my small brains.

Somebody please explain this shit!

Now, what was that! I thought Justin Bieber was bad. Now I understand why his fans tagged his tweets with #justinbieberisgod tag. They must have know the future. He is at least a demigod, when I see this girl. 'Partying, partying yeah.. Fun Fun Fun Fun, looking forward to the weekend'. Come on, what was that? The most worst part was, 'Yesterday was Thursday, Today it is Friday, Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards'. And the ways sings with her lips open like it has been stretched and tied to her ears. Now I started listening to 'Baby, Baby.. oh.. ooohhh...' wails of the boy. God, its better. They are comparing this 13-year old girl to Justin Bieber and this girl wants a duet with him. One warning Justin, if an idea of doing a duet with her arises in your mind, just kill yourself. It's honorable.


Harakiri, Good. Rebecca Black, Not good.

AAhh... It's always fun to rip on others... Sweet!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Ghost in my college urinal

I would always think to start like, 'Let me get to the point straight'. But, No, i don't do start like that way. I would love to beat around the bush.

Let me get this straight. Have you ever felt you were being followed when you walk in dark in some unfamiliar places? Have you felt some body breathing behind your neck when you access a deserted atm machine? Or have you tried outrunning something mysterious when you don't have a two-way switch and you had to turn off the light at the top of the stairs and come down in dark? or Have you had a toilet outside your home and you get an urge to piss at post midnight time (Walking hour recommended by ghost doctors for ghosts) but contemplated over going out in a scary night or wetting the bed? or have you ever expected a ghost somewhere when you watch some creepy realistic, drama genre movie? If you can relate to these stuff, you can proceed reading. Others, please get out sir. This blog is just for humans alive, not Zombies.

Now I use a funneling technique to take you to the next level. This way I can get from a broad view and  slowly narrow down to the issue in hand. Next set of question in depth now. Have you seen ghost movies? Hero will be checking out himself in mirror. But even after moving away, the image stays and winks at camera. hmm... Eerie? kay, second scenario. Hero presses the elevator button and waits. Nothing happens. He tortures the button to death. Still nothing. When he goes on to use stairs, the next guy just passes by and  the elevator reaches 'Dung' and opens... 'whoosh'. Chilling your spine a bit now? Wait. Why do I tell these obviously ghost situations? Yes, I'm coming there.

Now I visit the loo in my college. Its a plushly furnished toilet with sensor enabled urinals. Just when I enter the loo, a guy comes out after using a urinal and washing hands. So, I go in and use the urinal nearer to the one he used (Due to the territorial behavior no man uses the same or the one next to the urinal one which was used by other - Fact). And the urinal to the left of me suddenly flushes ~whoosh~. What would you think when somebody used went out and you were half way through and it flushes? That's not it. You may think it is due to the delayed sensor reaction. What if it flushes sometimes even if no body used and you were the first one to enter and use. Now, whaddaya feel? Scary? Or would you be normal when you were having your time in urinal after three straight hours of Financial Management,  with great sigh of relief, your face upwards, eyes closed in relaxation, it flushes, right in front of you ~SPLASH~ leaving wet spots in your pants. It HAUNTS!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

7 things you dont know about me

It has always been interesting to know secret of others. Given opportunity everyone could be a peeping tom or at least eavesdropping Eves. Since I have writer's block now, even though I'm not a writer, I could very well use this opportunity to write something on blog. The problem is I don't have much that others don't know. But, since this cool dude Karthik (link) asked me for the first time I shall write this up.

1. So, here this is for you gossip makers. I have fallen in crush for 4 times so far or Am I missing someone? Whatever! Yeah, they have come and go. But I'm too lazy to follow someone :)

2. Actually, I'm a movie buff. See lot and lot of movies. Tamil, Hollywood, Hindi and even Telugu few times. Movie opens you a new world to exploit. I don't aceept this in open, but i do like profanity in movies. I watched many hollywood movies especially for that too. ;)

3. Everybody thinks I just studied Zoology (I didn't, of course). But I was in Physics for 13 days before that. I just changed to Zoology so that I have more time to enjoy the college life. Cool, eh? Actually, I thought of moving to Vis.Com, which was started in my college only during my second year. If I had, it would have been a different me.

4. I have myself a 'Path of Enlightenment' like the illuminati of 'Angels and Demons'. I used to walk daily. It wasfound by me and a 'long lost friend'. He is not a friend anymore :( . Now, since I shifted my house. I walk down the path with ajay (link) or when I'm lonely. If you have a chance, take a walk with your friends, that is unbeatable.

5. I love coffee. That is just recently. I seem to have addicted to coffee. And chicken. Born vegetarian, eating chicken frequently for last three years. Grill is my most favorable form of chicken.

6. One thing all my friends know Or confused about my ever changing mind. I want to be everything in this world. Sounds like the dialogue of villain in movies right? But, it would be realized sometime. I say this abstractive. Never mind, you would not understand :)

7. Last thing is about my bad habit. I had the habit of checking mirror often. But, reduced now.

I don't want to tag anyone intentionally. But, if he is interested in blogging ajay can do it.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Shall we go for a party?

Men are always quick-pickers. From jockey briefs to future wives, they choose instantly. Men always have a mind for finishing off soon. I believe women like that. Extra time and money could be used to buy their dresses. But in  some cases, Men finishing off soon have led to too many divorces ;). No, I'm not a divorce lawyer or sexologist N.Kannappan(Madurai ad says, 'Lucky hands for 28 years for last 4 years.'  Lucky 'Hands'? whatever.).   When women starts purchasing, accompanying her is the most tough job. Easily it is this endurance test men has to undergo with her girl friend before marriage. And among every other things purchase of dress beats the hell out of man.

There was a woman who went with her husband to buy a silk saree. She asked for a green color saree. When salesman showed her a saree, She said, 'Not this. Lighter shade'. He showed another saree, she said, ' ada, ithu kili pachai. yelakkai pachai venum'(Hey this is parrot green. I need elachi green it.). At last salesman said, 'amma velaikku aagadhu. solunga, companyla order kodupom'(Madam, this wont do. For your need, we have to make a spl. order.) She was like, 'That man talks too much'. She went on around like eight shops in next three hours, ripping the place apart. Finally, the irony of the situation on hand is she would go go back to the first shop and buy the first ever saree she saw. He faints.

You might ask why i am chauvinistic? Because, these kinda jokes are what shopping is for women. We love them a lot. Ironically, this too is a chauvinistic one.

Finally when we ask a women, Shall we go for a party? her thought process would be -

Received as a forward mail
 See, We go straight for booze and bed. Women? I don't have time to explain the whole thought process. It needs Einstein.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Full Moon

When the moon cowers
Behind the earth,
Fearing the wrath of sun,
I lost you in the darkness.
As I grope for you
in those fifteen moonless nights,
Don't disintegrate into darkness.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Constipation with concentration

 Disclaimer - For those who wanna shit and don't wanna hear about it and for all those who wanna do foul things but don't wanna hear or read about it, This is not for you. Please get your royal ass out of here. Others read this self improvement piece - author.

Toilet has always been a fascinating place for me. Not just for me. Have you seen the kids in toilets in the morning? While the mommy is running here and there as if it was she going to school, our young scientist would be sending probes to Pluto, believing it to be planet as it would remain so in Indian text books for next 10 years. Some children develop Lewis Caroll in them in toilets by making silly rhyming poems like Ram had some jam in the bottle, steaming tea in the kettle.... so on. Ram is the evergreen noun used in grammar classes, especially in Hindi. We have called Ram so much time that I wondered that my Hindi 'ji' would one day see Lord Ram himself. Ah... I digress. Back to the point. We are talking about toilets. I, myself grew to be a great philosopher with toilet being workshop and constipation being the spark of ignition.

There was this 2 year old kid, Murugan near my house when I was 8 years old. He was naughty boy unlike myself. When he wants to pee, he peed where he wanted. The place of choice was usually the 'vadgam' his mother placed in the home stairs for drying. He always likes to play with 'vadagam' and tamper them rather than playing with 'chitti saamaan' (miniature utensils for toddlers). One day i heard a loud cry and lot of commotion next door. The mothers of all the homes in our neighborhood crowded near Murugan's home. There I see this kid with his ass so red like it was on fire and our murugan was crying with finger in his mouth. The story is that, like always our 'Teetoddler' Murugan has sat on things in the stairs to pee, only difference being that the things left on stairs to dry are Red hot chillies but vadam. His softie smart ass was deep fried along with chilly flavour. His ass looked like fried chicken before being dressed. This is what you get if you are bad enough not to use Toilet. You bear god's wrath not by eye-poking(Tamil kids are threatened to eat with this), but ass-frying.

Damn it, I'm drifting away from the topic, again. Constipation has to be declared not as a disease. It offers many solutions to simple problem. While they say Newton got the idea for Gravitational theory under an apple tree, I wonder what he was doing while shitting in the toilet. This, probably, is due to the fact that he doen't practice the art of constipation. Otherwise he would have got learnt it there and even could have finished with formulation before emptying his bowls. Toilet was a invented later. Before that they were leaking and shitting in open grounds which provided aesthetic views (apart from others s(h)itting like us) and gives you morning oxygen which is good for lungs and Indian crouching position is very good yogasana. Only problem with that is you have to move a little once in a while because pile of shit reaches your hind. But toilet is good too. They are now having artifacts and even TVs in toilet. But the good old Newspaper or some bestselling shit would be enough. Nowadays we have more bestselling shits than the toilet counterparts. So, you have shit at both ends. 

Among morning tasks the most concentration-seeking job is s(h)itting in toilet. Toilet-sitting is the first ever training that happens to a kid. In his child hood every human beings would have taken long time at a stretch in toilets. Constipation is a initial spark for developing meditation at young age. While i was a kid, i was advised to say 'um' for further crapping. This 'um' is like 'ugh' that give pressure to rectal muscles which constrict to let the crap get out in tubiforms. This 'um' like 'OM' gives you the spiritual psyche, that makes you compatible for any tough job. When Constipation gets tough, this becomes more in the line of delivering a child, like 'push'.. 'push'.... and all. But i personally don't support this and ask you meet the doctor immediately. Otherwise you might as well give birth to shitty kid like the one here(link). And it also affects your spiritual endowment.

Big leaders like Mahatma Gandhi have had constipation at their young age, where they developed their courage, spirituality, sacrificing mind and non-violence. Since he became mastery of this virtue, he later on went on to get self-treatment for it. You could see that he experimented self-treatment for this which was a gift of this wonderful practice. There is a lesson to be learned from this. He used the skills acquired by this practice for the social cause. Hence, i recommend you guys to make India by practicing concentration out of constipation.

I will teach you, 'how to play concentration games in toilet', in forthcoming post.
For Rich ass

Most inhumane punishment